9 Tips for Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

Writing your own wedding vows is something so intimate that you will look back on for years to come. You’re able to express your love and commitment to your partner in a way that is unique and special. But let’s be real…writing is hard sometimes and writer’s block is a real thing!

Before you throw in the towel and convince your partner to go the traditional route, take a look at these 9 tips the Scenic Vows team has put together to help you with writing your wedding vows. One of the perks of eloping is being able to share your vows with just your partner (or the few friends and/or family members you have decided to invite) instead of 200 semi-random people you don’t really know.

1. Talk About Writing Your Wedding Vows With Your Partner

Before you jump into writing your award-winning vows, sit down and have a chat about them! Decide together whether or not you are going to share your vows beforehand or keep them a surprise. It’s also important to discuss how long you want your wedding vows to be and what kind of tone you want to set. Again, keep in mind that there won’t be a ton of people around to witness you read your vows. You have the freedom to keep them as long or as short as you would like.

Couple holding hands after saying their wedding vows at their elopement in Yosemite National Park
Writing your own wedding vows - A couple sitting on a blanket watching the sunset over Yosemite Valley.

2. Think About When You First Met

Reflect back on to those early days when you first met each other and how you got those tingly butterfly feelings in your stomach every time you saw each other. How did you meet? And when did you first know they were “the one”? All of these memories and feelings can lead to some really great, sappy, feel-good vow writing!

It can also be helpful to think about your future together. Where do you picture your relationship being in 5, 10, 20, 50 years? Think of all the experiences and memories you will have together and the expectations you have for your relationship.

A couple running hand-in-hand after saying their wedding vows in Big Sur,

3. Make Promises

You know how traditional vows have promises like “to have and to hold from this day forward, in sickness and in health…” Well, when writing your own wedding vows, it’s still important to make promises to your partner. But it’s 2020 so let’s modernize those promises and make them unique and special to you!

Another thing that couples sometimes forget when writing their wedding vows is saying “I love you”. There is no better time than during your vows to declare your love! So make sure you squeeze those three little words in there.

Groom kisses brides hand after saying wedding vows at Taft Point in Yosemite.
4. Avoid Definitive Words

As much as you might want to write about how you’ll always support your partner’s pizza habit or you’ll never leave the toilet seat up, let’s face it. You might have times when you think there’s such a thing as too much pizza. Or you might forget one night to put the toilet seat down. These definitive words, “never” and “always” are impossible to live up to. Instead, be realistic when writing your wedding vows and use words that allow for human mistakes and forgiveness.  

After saying their wedding vows, a couple cuddles up against a rock in Big Sur for a steamy moment.
Dancing along the rocks in the California Hills after saying their wedding vows.
5. Make Your Partner Laugh

If you haven’t heard it before, laughter is the best medicine. Incorporating laughter into your wedding vows (and your entire wedding day!) is a good sign that you’ll be able to overcome any challenges that may come up in your relationship.

Standing forehead to forehead, a couple shares a laugh after reading their wedding vows to each other.
A couple stand on top of a rock, spraying champagne to celebrate saying their wedding vows in Yosemite.

6. Write From the Heart

Ok, that might sound a little cheesy, but you know what we mean! Write down sincere thoughts, stories, feelings and emotions. This is your wedding day! This is your person! Tell them how you really truly feel.

If you are someone who has a dry sense of humor, write that way. If you cry over commercials because everything just hits you in the feels, write that way. Just make sure that what you write feels and sounds like you.

Married couple laughing after saying their wedding vows for their Taft Point Yosemite Elopement
Beautiful women laughing after hearing wedding vows from her partner.
7. Don’t Wait Until the Last Minute.

Life can be crazy and chaotic and busy. We get it! But make sure you set aside time to work on writing your wedding vows. You’ll feel more confident and happy about what you wrote if you’re not rushing to write it.

Wedding Vow books with flowers and wedding invitation
Woman takes bridal bouquet out of her red backpack
8. Take a Break

Don’t try to write your wedding vows all in one go. Think of it like an essay for school. First,  get together all of your notes and jot down some funny stories you want to include in your wedding vows. Then,  write it all down in your first draft. Now if you gave yourself enough time (HINT see tip number 7 ??), put your vows aside for a few days or maybe even a week. When you have some time to revisit them, you’ll be able to look things over with fresh eyes and be able to add more things you thought of or move things around to make the flow even better.

Man picking up woman in white dress from behind and spinning her around after their wedding vows.
Man dips woman in beautiful white wedding dress as the sun sets behind them, casting a beautiful orange glow around them.
9. Practice, Practice, Practice!

Once you finish writing your wedding vows, make sure you read over them a few times. Even better, ask a friend if you can practice reading your vows to them. That way, when your wedding day comes, you’ll feel super confident in what you are saying and the words will just flow naturally.

We know it can feel overwhelming but really all that matters is that you let your person know how much they mean to you. Now go get started! And good luck!

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